this is my dream diary! i'll be recording any dreams
that i remember here so that i can be psychoanalyzed by strangers on the internet! don't expect quality writing.

??/??/?? • the beginning

my first entry! this one is going to be a collection of dreams that i can only remember small snippets of or that i can't date. some are from my childhood, while others are from as recent as last year! two of these dreams had been written down previously, but my old hard drive failed in march of 2018 and i lost the notes containing the details. :o(

however, that's not what's important here! you came to read logs of my weird, incoherent dreams, so let's get on with it! i've ordered these dreams in what i believe to be the proper chronology, starting with the earliest dream i remember and ending with the most recent.

dream #1: sister bagpipes

i remember sitting in my bedroom and it being daytime. there were no curtains over my window, which looks out into our backyard, and as i looked outside, i could see a nun facing me. she stood further back, straight across from my window but closer to the fence.

she was huge, had an upside-down green face, and was holding bagpipes. she never moved from her spot. she just stood there, staring at me and playing her bagpipes. i was terrified when i woke up, which isn't surprising. i was a little kid, after all! although... i admit that i would still be scared of a dream like this, even at my age.

also, a minor but slightly humorous detail: donny osmond was there. i can't remember what the fuck he was doing, but he was there! not even real donny osmond, either. no, it was him in all his cartoony
a johnny bravo christmas glory.

children's minds are an enigma.

a former friend of mine affectionately dubbed this nun of nightmares "sister bagpipes." he even drew her, but i can't remember where i put the paper. maybe if i can find it one day, i'll stick a photo of it here!

dream #2: the rooftop fisherman

i can't say for sure that this dream wasn't a continuation of the last, but i know that it occurred around the same time. similarly to my dream about sister bagpipes, i was in my room, it was daytime, my window had no curtains over it, and i was looking out into my backyard.

however, while i was peeking outside, i leaned closer to the glass to get a better look, and a black hand reached down from the roof and began to pull my hair. naturally, i began to freak out and managed to release myself from its grasp.

i stood back and watched the hand retract out of sight. doing only what idiot-ass dream salem would do, i left my room and went out back to see what had pulled my hair. when i got out there, i saw a pitch-black figure sitting on the roof above my window. it sat there holding a fishing rod, casting the line out into the grass as though there was something there for it to catch.

that's all that i recall of that dream, unfortunately. i think this dream stemmed from me having read the scary stories to tell in the dark series. one of the stories, "harold," involves a mistreated scarecrow killing a farmer and laying his skin out to dry on the roof. is it any wonder i had strange dreams as a kid?

dream #3: naked and afraid

basically, i was in my house—yes, again, because i never leave my house even in my dreams—and it was nighttime this time around. i had to hide from some guy who had broken in, and while he was searching the house, i managed to sneak out and run across the street to my elderly neighbor's house. for reasons i don't recall, i was bare-ass naked as all this went on.

i tore open my neighbor's front door, jumped inside, and locked it behind me. i explained to her what was going on, panicking and nude all the while. the dude realized i had somehow gotten out of my house (it's called the front door you fucking caveman) and came stumbling out looking for me.

eventually, he lumbered across the street and started banging on my neighbor's backdoor, and that's where the dream ended.

dream #4: kidnapped

i sat in a classroom, which, oddly enough, looked nothing like any of my high school's classrooms. i was talking to a streamer i used to watch, a guy named kevin. the room was rather crowded, and the two of us sat toward the back of the room diagonal from the door.

an announcement came over the intercom, a warning of some sort. not long after, an armed intruder dressed in all black threw open the door and began firing into the room.

i dove over the side of the couch kevin and i had been sitting on and tried to hide behind the arm of it. eventually, the shooter forced those left of us to line up, single file, and exit the classroom. they told the last person in line to turn off the light on their way out.

the setting transitioned to my grandfather's house. the shooter was revealed to be a middle-aged blonde woman, and she was speaking to us in the living room. there were only 4 of us now, kevin and i as well as an older married couple. she turned her attention to them and kept ordering them around, but i can't remember exactly what she was telling them to do. after a while, the woman walked to the front door and the couple followed.

they never came back, but i don't think they died; though i can't say for sure that it was them, i recall being able to see an suv backing out the driveway through the window, so i guess that means the woman let them go.

when the blonde woman re-entered the house, she began talking to us. at one point, she handed us a bright blue 80s-style brick cell phone and walked away. i don't know what we wound up doing with it, but it was irrelevant in the end. kevin and i talked throughout the duration of this whole ordeal, since that was our only form of entertainment.

the dream continued like that for a while, and eventually, we were rescued from the house. turns out the house was right down the street from the school. i remember standing there on the lawn and staring at it, shocked for whatever reason. i don't know what dream me expected, but i guess that wasn't it.

the dream transitioned again, and this time kevin and i were in my kitchen. he wore a white button-up shirt and black dress pants with matching suspenders and oxfords, while i wore a lightly-colored a-line dress. again, we talked for a while (it seems like that's all we really did throughout this entire dream), and then he gave me a hug. we laughed before everything cut out.

the dream started over from the beginning, except there were minor differences. kevin and i both remembered what had happened the first time, so we were waiting for the woman to enter the room. she did, and things played out pretty much the same.

when she had us line up, someone whispered to me that they were going to stay behind in the classroom after turning the light out. this backfired, as the woman heard what they said and stopped the line to turn and walk to the back where we were. this is where the dream ended.

dream #5: shopping trip turned prison escape

the dream started out as a few of my friends and i sitting in some bedroom. it didn't look like mine, but some of my stuff was there. we talked and examined my doll collection. the dolls were strange-looking, with skinny bodies and very long legs. this ended pretty quickly.

the dream cut to my high school classmates and i on a yellow school bus in the seedier part of town. we were there to buy gifts for our families, though i'm unsure of what the occasion was. my best friend and i chatted back and forth, but then the bus came to a stop.

a man outside on the left side of the bus began shouting, telling us to get off the bus, and, fearful, everyone began scrambling to get out. i didn't know what was going on, but instead of following everyone else out, i opened my window and exited through it on the right side of the bus. i ran and hid in the bushes and watched as everyone was forced to line up. the man shouted that anyone who wasn't in line would be hunted down and captured.

my classmates were imprisoned by this man, who came to be known as the warden of the prison housing them. being the only student who hadn't been locked up, i decided i had to get them out. the details got a little fuzzy around this point, but i remember being inside the warden's bedroom in the prison. i hid behind his couch as he walked around the room, and i managed to get his master key at some point.

i found my way to a control room that contained a huge wall of television screens displaying each of my classmates' faces alongside their corresponding lock-release buttons. i started button-mashing, trying to get everyone out before the guards found me, and that's all i can remember.

dream #6: the most dangerous game

this next dream involved a game. the first objective of said game was to elude a killer who would chase us throughout the level, the spawn point of which was my grandfather's house. oddly enough, i wasn't really me this time. i typically dream as myself or as some character that i would consider to be myself, but it was different this time.

first, i was an older man, an explorer, safari helmet and all. i met the killer, a woman who i remember as having slightly resembled a mad one. as this was my first attempt at the game, i didn't last very long. i was killed and my time as the explorer came to a close in the blink of an eye.

next, i was a woman, who i want to say was the explorer's assistant. her long brown hair was tied up in a ponytail with a pink or red ribbon and she wore a skirt. i was in my grandfather's second-floor guest bedroom, and all i knew is that the killer was about to come for me. i wound up climbing out the window and running off into the surrounding forest.

from there, the objective was to reach one of the little wooden signs planted in the ground which represented an ending to the story. unfortunately, the killer caught up to me and killed me, having known where i had gone because i left the window open when i climbed out.

next, i was a woman in a black leather jacket. i pretty much repeated what my previous incarnation did, escaping through the window and sprinting into the woods. this character was seemingly more sprightly and managed to out-run the killer, diving for and grabbing onto a little sign near a forked path. this triggered the ending cutscene of the game, but the dream cut out before i got to see it.